Pete and Perry

Disaster in Da Nang

Hello, everyone!

At our street food dinner in Da Nang, Pete noticed a Vietnamese person with a tattoo of the English word “Focus.”

“So,” Pete says to me, “do you think they have the same problem here that we have in the States where Americans tattoo nonsensical Chinese letters onto themselves?”

“Uh, yeah,” I responded, gesturing to the people around us. “Are you not noticing their t-shirts?”

Not two minutes later:

WONDERFUL. The talent of sycess is nithing more than ding wel whatever. \HAPPY/ Youdo withouta thought of time.
WONDERFUL. The talent of sycess is nithing more than ding wel whatever. \HAPPY/ Youdo withouta thought of time.

We have seen many poorly translated t-shirts since, but none have come close to this one’s simultaneous combination of nonsense and wisdom.

May youdo withouta thought of time today, friends.

Perry’s Travel Diary

Da Nang, Hoi An, and Ho Chi Minh City

Getting there: Hanoi to Da Nang / Hoi An

We flew from Hanoi to Da Nang on Bamboo Airways since they had the cheapest flights ($94.54 total for two tickets). Bamboo Airways provided excellent service, especially for the price.

The Hanoi Airport included a Priority Pass Lounge that we were able to access using our Chase Sapphire Reserve card. They had a solid food selection (yay for free dinner!) and a massage chair. Most importantly, the lounge was air-conditioned to a much cooler temperature than the rest of the airport, thank the good lord.

We used Grab to request a taxi from Da Nang airport to our hotel since we again arrived late – after 10 PM – for 79,000 VND ($3.35).

Disaster in Da Nang

We knew we were getting into something, well, interesting when we noticed the box of condoms for individual sale on proud display at the hotel reception desk.

Not, like, around the corner in a convenience store nook, and not on a shelf with some ramen noodles, coffee, and Tylenol. They were right there at the point of check-in.

Now, when I booked this hotel, I knew that $15 USD per night seemed low. But the pictures showed a recently remodeled hotel, and Google Reviews had a glowing 4.8 stars. (Note that we have since stayed in several hotels for ~$15 USD per night without issues.)

We walked into the room and found a space that had not been cleaned in anyone’s recent memory. The sheets were covered in stains from lipstick and ashes. The rest of the room was not much better.

In hindsight, you’re probably wondering why we didn’t just leave. I am, too. The answer was that it was around midnight, in Vietnam, in a city we were unfamiliar with, and while this hotel room was gross, it did appear to be safe. So we stayed.

I donned full pajamas – pants, socks, and even a sweatshirt – to put as many barriers between that bed and me as possible. Keep in mind that it was still over 90 degrees outside, and there I was wearing a sweatshirt to bed. If there is one positive thing I can say about this hotel room, it’s that it had the best A/C unit I have possibly ever encountered in my life.

We set ourselves in bed, turned out the lights, and then got to discover that despite the prolific “no smoking” signs throughout the hotel, someone was smoking a Vietnamese tobacco pipe in the hallway. (Vietnamese pipes, or dieu cay, make a whistling sound when smoked.) Our room wasn’t properly sealed, which meant that we took on all that smoke. It was suffocating.

The staff at the hotel refused to move us to a different room and it took two requests for the sheets to be changed. Don’t ever stay at the Hanami Hotel. The end.

Exploring Da Nang

If there’s one upside to a craptastic hotel, it’s that it does motivate you to get up and spend your time outside.

We started our day in a nearby coffee shop before walking past a bunch of abandoned buildings to get to Da Nang’s beach. The beach was lovely, with soft smooth sand and no surf to speak of. The ocean water was as warm as a bathtub which, although lovely in its own right, was not at all refreshing given the similarly-warm outside temperatures. You could be hot and sweaty on the beach or hot and sweaty in the water – take your pick.

We rented a couple of lounge chairs (60,000 VND each, $2.54) and purchased a few beverages for the afternoon.

After sunset, we explored the Dragon Bridge Night Market. This lively night market was packed with interesting offerings, from bags and clothing to food and rolled ice cream. We decided to sample some of the food, including a fried pancake with shrimp, spring rolls, and meatballs on a stick. Unfortunately, we don’t recommend eating here – the food wasn’t that great, and you’ll see below that I got sick shortly after.

We swung by the Dragon Bridge itself before going home.

On to Hoi An and An Bang Beach

The reason we flew to Da Nang was actually to visit Hoi An, which is described as the area that made travelers fall in love with Vietnam.

While I’d love to tell you this was the case for us, I spent most of my time in Hoi An vomiting from some sort of stomach bug.

We don’t know if it was the street food (highly likely), the hotboxed Hanami Hotel (also highly likely), or something I encountered in Hanoi or Ha Long (somewhat less likely but still very possible), but I was not well.

I was able to rally for one afternoon at An Bang beach with Pete, and both the village and beach were very cute. We could have spent more time here and did enjoy ourselves. Lounge chairs and drinks on the beach were cheap.

If you visit Hoi An, please visit Marble Mountain and Old Town Hoi An and tell us how they were.

Pete’s Travel Diary

Let’s switch to Pete’s travel diary since Perry wasn’t much help in Hoi An

I explored An Bang Beach in search of food and sights. It was a pleasant and small town. The Cashew Bungalow, our hotel, is near a school which always puts me more at ease for being a pleasant and safe location. Everyone went about their day-to-day quite happily.

I ate breakfast at Ken’s Vegetarian and Coffee restaurant. I am not a vegetarian, nor does this lifestyle interest me. However, it is my opinion that a good vegetarian restaurant has to work much harder to succeed. They served coffee and eggs which is all I need to get the day started. I would write and enjoy a nice quiet morning, then return to the bungalow with some nutritious food for a resting Perry.

In the evenings I would observe the frogs, geckos, snails, and other critters in the neatly kept garden patio at the Cashew Bungalow. The gal running the show does a great job and speaks good English. She got a kick out of my attempts to request a fork, an unfamiliar word. She showed me a spoon and I held up my hands like fork tines with a poking motion. After a good chuckle, I was provided with said fork. The children hanging around nearby thought this demonstration was entertaining.

Hoi An is one of the only places in Vietnam I would feel comfortable bringing children to, always with a watchful eye. The many wonders of the little patio garden would keep them entertained for hours as they watched snails mosey around, and the beach is calm enough for children to play without much discomfort (warm water, clean beaches, and tides that aren’t too aggressive). There are enough sea shells to keep a child intrigued and entertained.

Perry’s Travel Diary

Ho Chi Minh City

We again flew on Bamboo Airways from Da Nang to Ho Chi Minh City ($83.68 for two tickets), which you may know of as Saigon. Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC) was renamed in 1975 to honor Ho Chi Minh after North Vietnam’s victory.

Da Nang Airport was strict about not letting us check in more than two hours before our flight. There was no airport lounge for domestic flights.

Da Nang’s check-in agents also pointedly asked all female passengers if they were pregnant at check-in. I thought their signage got the point across without the need for a verbal interview. No one else has cared to ask about my unconceived children.

After the disaster in Da Nang, I canceled our original Ho Chi Minh City hotel and rebooked us at The Hammock Hotel Fine Arts. This was a mid-range hotel that was outside our normal budget, but they made up for it with free breakfast, free snacks, and a free washer/dryer. Pete was a fan of the crab chips.

Antique Market and Ben Thanh

We enjoyed walking the Antique Market, a street with dozens of small antique stores. You can find dishes, artwork, newspapers, currency, phones, fans, and a load of other items. The map in our hotel did warn us to beware of fakes, so keep that in mind if you’re shopping for something in particular.

Ben Thanh market was very similar to other markets and night markets in Vietnam, housing a little bit of everything you could want under one roof. There were street foods, luggage, clothing, shoes, and – Pete’s favorite to admire – mounted insects.

Disclaimer: Most countries in South East Asia do not permit the transporting of artifacts internationally and many of these countries also abide by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora, commonly called the CITES list. Keep souvenir seeking simple as airport security may not know a forgery or reproduction from the real McCoy.

War Remnants Museum

File this one under super important but disturbing tourist stops.

The War Remnants Museum houses exhibits on the Vietnam War along with the earlier First Indochina War. The exterior yard displays American military equipment left behind after the Vietnam War, including a plane, helicopter, and tank among others.

Our American history classes had little if anything to say about the Vietnam War, cramming it into a footnote between World War II and summer vacation, so we were grateful to learn more about this chapter of history. But, as you can imagine, the exhibits here were deeply depressing. The Agent Orange section in particular is not for the faint of heart.

The Museum is well-executed and worth a visit. Admission is only 40,000 VND (~$1.75) per person.

Mekong River Tour

While doing laundry, Pete met a couple of Austrians staying at our hotel who were taking a guided tour of the Mekong River for only $20 per person. That sounds interesting, we thought, having only heard of the Mekong River in reference to the Vietnam War.

 Our 8-hour guided tour had a packed agenda, including:

  • Vinh Trang Pagoda, a Buddhist temple featuring three giant Buddha statues: standing Buddha, reclining Buddha, and Budai (laughing buddha or fat buddha)
  • Boat transportation to three islands in the Mekong River Delta
  • Fruit tasting and traditional music performance
  • Row boat ride through the canals
  • Honey farm visit and product tasting
  • Photos with a cobra (yes, really)
  • Lunch
  • Choice of bike riding or napping in hammocks
  • Coconut candy “factory” and tasting

If you’re exhausted reading that list, please imagine how we felt. I was ready to go home after lunch (and would have been happy to pay the full price for fewer activities).

That said, the tour delivered a ton of value and is an excursion we would recommend.

According to our guide, there are eight branches of the Mekong River. Our tour visited the first branch, closest to HCMC, where there were four islands: Tortoise Island, Dragon Island, Phoenix Island, and Unicorn Island. Our activities before lunch were located on Unicorn Island, lunch was on Phoenix Island, and the coconut candy factory was on the opposite bank. The people living on these islands are mostly engaged in agriculture or fishing, and the overall standard of living is very, very poor.

I enjoyed sampling various fruits and Vietnamese food. It allowed me to try things I may not have otherwise. Everything was delicious.

There’s obviously a lot to cover with this Mekong River trip, so you can view a full photo tour over on my Instagram.

Itinerary

Hotels

Transportation

  • Hoi An: Cashew Tree Bungalow offers a reasonably priced driver from Da Nang to their hotel ($15 one way), or you can use Grab ($11 one way).
  • HCMC: We used Grab to get around.

Food

Perry’s Travel Tip of the Week

Don’t forget a beach bag

As simple as this is, one of the most useful items I threw into our suitcases was a reusable, pocket-sized shopping bag. We use this near-daily as a shopping bag, beach tote, or day bag when we don’t need our full backpacks.

I got mine as a freebie from a conference, but you can get a similar one on Amazon.

If you enjoyed this newsletter, we’d love it if you would share it with your friends.

All our love,

Pete and Perry

Perry Skorcz

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